“Grace in Imperfection” By Kayla Slusher
Something I know we all struggle with fully understanding, even if we say we don’t.
It starts off with me clicking onto what grace truly is, worshiping God in praise for it, then still catching myself in moments of shaming myself for not being perfect. We each have a different area in our life where grace can be hard to grasp onto.
I love God, but how can He love me when I’m not spending time with Him?
Here’s my story.
My relationship with Christ all began in high school. I had a fire for the Lord like none other. I mean I was in church every chance I got, attended all the youth events, read my Bible, went on a missions trip – the whole nine yards. Later on down the road, my relationship with Christ fell off. I pushed Him away and when I decided to call on Him again, it didn’t feel the same. If I’m being honest, it hasn’t felt the same since…until recently that is (within the last few months).
After many years of an on-and-off relationship with God, I finally realized why it never felt the same. I found idles in worldly things. My fire could never be the same if God wasn’t my number one. When I decided I was ready to make Him my number one again, things started to change. I dived into it like I did when I first started. Church all the time, prayer all the time, devotionals. You know, the whole nine yards.
Fast forward to this present day and things are going great and I finally feel the burn. My passion for Christ is back, but now my schedule is piling up again. I’m starting to slip. Missing out on devotionals and prayer time. I tell myself, “Well, at least I went to church. Ugh, but what if that’s not good enough?” I start to beat myself up for not spending time in the Word because I’m afraid I’m going to lose God again.
God never left though.
And He never will. See, those times I put idles before Him played a part in my story. They shaped me into the person I am today so a) I can share my story b) grow closer to God and c) understand. I now understand that God never once left me during those times. In fact, He was right beside me waiting for the moment I would say “God I give up on trying to do it by myself.”
He knows we aren’t perfect. He loves us anyway.
We’ll mess up. Not once. Not twice, but thousands of times; yet, He is still right there with arms wide open. I think God can appreciate the fact that we care about missing our devotionals. Caring about missing one-on-one time with Him means we value our relationship. So you missed yesterday’s prayer time? Make sure you dive in today!
Don’t give up on God’s Word because you’re mad at yourself.
I remember times where I pushed God away because I decided I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t give myself grace so I opted out. All that did was hurt me because I never gave myself the chance to hear what God had to say about me. Today, I’ve heard what He has to say about me, and I know it’s the same for you, too.
Today, God is telling me and He’s telling you, “You are my child.” He loves you dearly. He gives you grace and He wants you to give yourself grace as well. He sees you fighting hard for His Kingdom and He doesn’t want you to stop, but He also knows we aren’t perfect.
Read more from Kayla Slusher at https://kayladeneblogs.com/.