It’s so easy to feel like you aren’t good enough.
I think I’ve written about this a million times. But it’s easy for it to come back.
Who knew getting married could make you feel so not good enough?
I know without a doubt the enemy uses these really special, celebratory events and replaces joy with stress. He stresses us with things like perfection, comparison, and “stuff.”
It’s easy to start feeling like you aren’t good enough when you are comparing yourself to people you view as “better than you.” That’s a dangerous game to play and a sure-fire way to take yourself to a dark place.
I have heard the enemy whisper to me hundreds of time over the past 10 months, “Your wedding is not going to be good enough.”
I believe him half the time and choose to believe my Father the other half.
I’ve scrolled through Pinterest more than I ever have in my life. I’ve purchased things like $20 balloons and expensive guest books and decorations to make sure this wedding looked as perfect as possible.
There is nothing wrong with buying things to make your wedding what you want. It’s a special day that comes around one time in life and you should have some things you’ve always dreamed of. But what happens when it gets out of control and loses its meaning?
The world sees the pictures of you with your ring, the two of you registering at Bed Bath & Beyond, getting your marriage license, and painting your new house, not knowing how many times you’ve cried over the tiniest details that no one will even notice.
Will people think my wedding is pretty? Will they like the decorations? Will they think anything looks cheap? Will they think I did a good job planning it? Will they like the food? Will they have fun? Will they dance? Will they get bored? Will they like my dress?
The questions flood in and totally knock down the guard on my heart. I start to go into “prove yourself” mode instead of “be yourself” mode, and it’s exhausting.
It’s honestly like a snowball effect. I start feeling like my wedding won’t be good enough, which makes me feel like I am not good enough, which makes me unhappy, which makes me not-so-fun to be around, which then makes me feel bad for not being happy and positive – it’s a never-ending cycle of pressure and anxiety that I’m putting on myself. The only way to break it? Jesus.
He is the way, the truth, and the light – and that applies to every single scenario in life, not just salvation (the most important scenario.) He is my way through feeling less than good enough, He is the truth when I need to be reminded who I am, and He shines light on my beautiful characteristics instead of my imperfections. He makes me feel good enough simply because He loves me and gave His life up just for me. And just for you, too. That means you, my friend, are good enough, too.
The best days of wedding planning are the days when you and your mom or you and your bridesmaids or you and your fiance check something off “the list” and have the best time doing it, reminding you why marriage is even a thing – it brings to people together for The Kingdom and brings hundreds of other people together to celebrate it all. Marriage is such a beautiful thing that God loves and the enemy detests. He wants to steal, kill, and destroy anything bringing glory to the King so that he can try to hold on to what little power he thinks he has.
There have been thousands of weddings and will be thousands more – all of them have similarities, yet no two are alike – just like people. It is so pointless to look at another girl’s wedding and think that hers is better than yours. Her wedding is not better – it’s just different. She is not better – she is just different.
The fact of the matter is my wedding will be good enough because I’m good enough and worthy enough of love and celebration and so are you. God found it fitting for me to have a groom to marry and friends to celebrate with, so that’s what the day has to be about – it can’t be about pictures and decorations and cake, it just can’t.
This really goes for anything. You may not be getting married and you may never get married – that’s ok. Whatever He has planned for you is the grandest of all plans, I assure you.
You may feel not good enough in your circle of friends or at your church or at your school or at your job or in your sorority. You might feel like everyone really does have it better than you and everyone really is better than you. But again, it’s not about the pictures and decorations – it’s about you being worth celebrating every single day.
He specifically tells us to celebrate every single day.
Psalm 118:24 “This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”
We can’t celebrate daily life when we are so caught up in feeling like we aren’t good enough and everyone else is more than good enough.
Whether it is a big event like your wedding or your baby being born or college graduation, you’ll enjoy the process and the big day more when you focus on what you have and how good what you have really is.
As for me, I’m shaking off the lie that I’m not good enough and that my wedding won’t be good enough. I’m putting on the truth that no matter what happens in this life, no matter how many decorations I have, and no matter how many mistakes I make, I am His and that is good enough.
I didn’t write this as a fishing for compliments tactic. It’s not that I want to hear how beautiful my wedding will be because I know it will be. When I think of the beauty of it, I never see any of the decorations or little “extras” that will be there – I just think of me and my groom and our friends and families.
When we focus on what matters, it’s inevitable that we will have more joy. But, when we are distracted by all the extra things in life, we get slowed down and bogged down and taken off the course God is leading us on.
Life is way too short to feel anything but good – not inferior, not less than, and not worthless.
He is a good, good Father, and you are a good, good daughter. Walk in that. I’m going to walk in that… right down the aisle.