Nowhere in The Bible does it tell women to sit down and shut up. But it seems like far too often, when we speak up, the person across the table addresses our husbands to make sure what we said was good enough.
They make sure we didn’t “talk for him.” When the roles are reversed and our husbands speak, the other person doesn’t give a second thought to what we wanted to add to the conversation. It’s a double standard and I’m over it.
I always try to keep the peace and only spread positivity. But am I spreading joy by making sure I’m small enough to fit the space in the room someone else designed for me? Nah. I’d much rather take up the space God designed for me, even if it means I’m loud.
We can be assertive without being hateful.
We can say what we want to say without being rude.
We can make a point without tearing others down.
We are women. We are bold. And we honor and respect the men in our lives. They have qualities that compliment ours and we have qualities that compliment theirs. They lead us well and love us well by pointing us to Jesus.
My husband doesn’t lead my home by talking more than me.
My husband leads my home in quiet but powerful ways.
I know I have a lot of room to grow when it comes to taming my tongue and putting an end to my pride. But that doesn’t mean I need to stay silent or “go home.” I don’t agree with extreme feminism that bashes men. I’m not telling you to burn your bras or go protest. I’m just begging you to be yourself.
If you are quiet and lead in mighty ways because of it, DO IT without shame.
And if you have something to say that adds value, use your words and glorify God. And stop checking to make sure everyone else is cool with it.
God loves loud girls too.
Women have shared with me that people have warned them they won’t find a strong, Christian man to lead them all because they are strong leaders themselves. Some said they’d been point-blank called out when they spoke instead of their husbands. And many said they have felt the push to make themselves smaller so no one will label them “controlling.”
More than being angry, I’m just so sad. I’m sad that bold women try to color inside the lines so men, and other women, will accept them. I’m sad that my single friends fear they won’t find the right spouse because of their big personalities. I’m sad that this stereotype even exists because it’s not the heart of The Father.
I read Psalm 68:11 a few days ago and my heart leapt. “The Lord announces the word, and the women who proclaim it are a mighty throng.” (NIV) I said, “You do want women to proclaim it, God!”
And I’m here to tell you he wants you to proclaim it too, sis. With all your might.
I’m not talking loud like volume loud — I’m talking about a loud life, a loud personality. And let me also say that there is a time to be silent, and I take that very seriously, despite what many may think.
Like I said before, being loud doesn’t mean being disrespectful. And it doesn’t mean talking all the time. (I’m working on that.) It means knowing when God wants you to speak and saying it with strength. It means you don’t have to let your husband do all the talking if he prefers to be quiet. It means you can be who God handcrafted you to be without fear of other people’s opinions.
I submit to my husband, I submit to leadership, and I still speak up when the time is right. You can be both/and. Both loud and submissive. Both strong and meek. Both bold and gentle.
If you’re a loud girl, God loves you too. Because guess what? He made you loud on purpose.
You don’t have to settle in your calling, your relationships, or your career because of how you express your passion and excitement. So don’t.
Now, let’s go proclaim the word The Lord has announced.