PART ONE OF A FIVE-PART SERIES:
So what does it look like after you’ve walked through a year of darkness and depression?
It looks like appreciating The Light more than you ever have before.
It looks like laughing harder than you would have at that joke.
It looks like simple joys holding a lot of weight.
And it also looks like dark days sprinkled in between.
I recently tried to explain depression to someone who has never experienced it. She was so kind and respectful while letting me know she finds it so hard to understand.
I was like… how in the world do I sum up what it feels like to walk through hell holding a smile on your face?
She asked me what the reason for the depression was and that was what was so hard to explain. There was NO reason whatsoever. Because depression doesn’t discriminate and it sure doesn’t give you an explanation.
I know some people experience depression due to a traumatic event, but some of us experience when our lives seem picture-perfect.
But my depression showed me what true happiness is. And while I know my God didn’t cause the darkness, He allowed it so the Light would seem so much brighter and stronger.
He walked me through it so I could learn how to be dependent upon Him.
He held my head up and dried my tears so I could remember His healing power.
He sat in the hole with me so I could feel His empathy.
And post-depression feels a lot like letting go of anything that doesn’t draw me closer to God and holding on tight to everything that does.
Depression really worked like a slingshot for me — it drug me way back, but it launched me forward, and I pray that for any friend walking through a season of hell.
Happiness is waiting on the other side of depression. Just keep fighting. Just keep hoping.
And please remember that it’s OK to have gray days even after depression. Please remember that the reason it was classified as depression is because EVERY day was gray.