My dream to write a book began so many years ago when I was a little girl, but the desperation that drove me to write it began when I became a wife.
My first year of marriage was very difficult, not because of my husband, but because it was the same year I began struggling with a really deep depression. I have always been known as the “happy girl” who can “light up a room,” but when I was alone, all I felt was darkness.
My husband watched me cry myself to sleep most nights and my counselor consoled me on her magical couch. I couldn’t put my finger on just why I was so miserable, but something was really wrong. I prayed A LOT and I knew God wanted to help me, but I didn’t know how to let Him.
During my battle with the darkness, God birthed a book inside me that guided me back to The Light. He reminded me that not all the feelings I feel are from Him — in fact, many are NOT from Him. And so “Not from God” was written to shine that bright Light on the lies we believe and replace them with Truth from God’s Word.
God replaced my fear with courage and my insecurity with confidence in Him and my discontentment with contentment in all He has given me. And then He asked me to write it all down so others could find the same victory by the “blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony.” (Romans 12:11)
I’ve beaten myself up over the size of the book hundreds of times, thinking it’s too small and too simple. But my husband always swoops in to say, “Kaitlin, did you write what God told you to write? If so, then the size and the words are all perfect to Him.”
And He’s right. When God tells us to do something, it doesn’t really matter if we think it’s not “big enough” or “important enough.” It matters that He entrusts us to carry out specific plans to further His Kingdom, and that’s what I know to be sure about this small but mighty book I wrote.
The thing about “Not from God” is that I don’t want it to ever be the truth you go to on a bad day — I want it to be a road map that leads you TO the Truth on a bad day. I want it to be a weapon in your arsenal that draws you in to scripture and helps you fight the good fight.
My favorite comment to hear from readers is that they have read and re-read specific lines and chapters that resonated with them. I love knowing that the words that healed so much hurt in my heart might just do the same for someone else.
I didn’t write this little blue book to be a bestseller; I wrote it because I am sold out to Christ and using every single ounce of gifting He has given me to show others His love.
And I want you to really know that.
I may never land a publishing deal. I may never cry over a book contract like I’ve dreamt of so many times. And I may never get to write full time.
But I won’t stop writing.
I won’t ever stop doing what I was called to do just because it doesn’t look like I thought it would.
And I want this book to be a reminder to every person who holds it that sometimes your God-sized dreams come true not because someone discovers you but because you discover that He gave you the power to make it happen all along.
We can stop believing the lies that we aren’t enough and that we won’t ever be happy. We can stop living a life full of feelings that are not from God. And we can step into Truth, take back the narratives of our lives, and give the pen back to the rightful Author.
I wrote this book because I needed it to light up the darkness. I wrote this book so you would know you’re not alone. I wrote this book because it was the answer to my prayers and my way out of the wilderness.
You can get a copy of “Not from God” here and start replacing lies with Truth.