On The Days You Don't Feel Pretty Enough

I seriously just had to get this out for you guys today. Because I have just felt straight ugly all day.I'm not saying that so someone will say, "Oh my gosh no you're so pretty." I'm not fishing for compliments or looking for affirmation. I'm just leveling with you and letting you know how hard it was for me to be ok with me today.I let every little thing get to me and make me feel worthless today.I had a meeting at work where I was critiqued the entire time - which was helpful - but I put the blame for any of my shortfalls immediately on the fact that I just was not pretty enough.I looked at some other women in my same work position in other cities and thought, "Well they're prettier. I'll never be able to be as good as them because I'll never be that pretty."Bare with me. I know this is a ridiculous way of thinking, but I'm just going out on a limb and betting I'm not the only one who thinks this way sometimes.I left work and looked in the mirror and just couldn't smile. "Has anyone's face every been this broken out?" "Do I seriously have a cold sore?" "I'm just not pretty today."Back to back to back absolute punches to my own gut.I started scrolling through social media, and of course, saw 17 different beautiful girls who really seemed to have it all. I just felt so awful about myself.Comparison is the thief of joy and it certainly stole every ounce of joy I had.I looked in the mirror again and just started criticizing every last part of myself. My teeth, my skin, my body, my hair... I just wasn't ok with any of it.And then something stopped me dead in my tracks: God sees us "not as man sees us." He looks at the heart.I just did the "She Reads Truth" study on Leah and Rachel. Even though Leah had "weak eyes" and wasn't as "beautiful" as her sister Rachel, God remembered her and gave her the desires of her heart.She wanted so badly to have what Rachel had, but guess what! Rachel wanted to bare children like Leah!Both women spent their lives comparing themselves to one another instead of walking in the beauty God had specifically designated each of them.That's just it. He specifically designated a beauty to everyone. When we own it and walk with it, we become even more beautiful to people around us.How often do we just want to be someoneI read a quote a few days again that said, "No one else is you. That is your power." You are the ONLY you there ever has been or ever will be.I wish I would've listened to my own advice instead of absolutely bashing someone so beautiful God took the time to assign beauty to - myself.No matter my clothes, my messy hair, my coffee-stained teeth, my imperfect skin or whatever else I have decided about myself, God decided I'm worthy and breathtaking, and He has the final say.I know someone reading this woke up feeling the same way today. And it may not be because of anything anyone else said. It may just be a thought in your mind from the pits of hell, but send them back there because that's where they belong. They weren't meant to exist here on earth in your precious mind.Don't be so hard on yourself. You don't have to try so hard to be beautiful. Just be - that's beautiful enough in itself.God never asked us to make sure we look our best at all times. He just asked us to search our hearts and let Him clean those up so they will be beautiful and just ooze out beauty all over the place!You are beautiful. I want you to know that, without a doubt. You really are.Don't spend another second thinking otherwise.I decided I'm not doing that to myself anymore. No one else is bashing me and telling me how ugly I am, so why should I. And if they do, that's their heart problem and something they will have to work out. I won't let it affect me.I love who God decided to make me, and that means loving everything about me from the top curl on my head to the bottom of my smallest toe.On the days you feel ugly and not pretty enough, go ahead and kick that thought straight to the curb because you already know Who thinks you're gorgeous. And chances are, He's not the only one.Go be beautiful.