To My Brother: The Things I Didn't Say On Your Wedding Day

There were so many things I wanted to say to you on your wedding day and just couldn't.I wasn't very emotional in the moment, but the before and after were whirlwinds.I tried to spend as much time with you as I possibly could, even though you were usually too busy and focused on your own life, as you should've been. But I could feel you just slipping away.You've just always been there. We lived in the same house for our entire lives.I don't remember the day or the time when that stopped. I wish I remembered the last day we woke up in the same house. I wish I could remember when we stopped playing video games and playing outside.It all just stopped so fast that I really can't remember.And then all of a sudden I was in college and you were finishing high school and before I knew it you were engaged.None of it hit me until the day after your wedding. Then it hit hard and I realized everything had changed.Don't get me wrong, I am so incredibly happy for you. Finding the love of your life is the greatest accomplishment in life. Being able to share triumphs and failures and adventures and days with someone is the most beautiful gift God gave us.I didn't understand that until I found love myself. I thought you were crazy for wanting to get married so young until I found myself in love and comprehending what you had been telling me. So, I am happy for you, but a part of me feels like I lost my little brother.Because you aren't little anymore. You're a man. You have your own life and own house and wife and job and daily habits I don't know anything about.We will always be family. We will always be friends. But I'm not a solid part of your every day anymore, and that hurts me to no end.I'm so thankful for the childhood memories that won't ever go away and the things that have happened that only you will ever understand. In some ways, you know me better than anyone ever has or ever will.And I'm glad we made that pre-wedding road trip happen because it was the closure we needed before you moved on. Those memories are different than childhood memories. They are adult memories that we made as friends, not just siblings.Your marriage has already taught me so much. I never imagined looking up to my little brother for relationship guidance, but that's how it has happened.People may find it odd that you got married when you were 21, but no one gets to decide the right time except you and her, and I think God gave you the go-ahead at the perfect time.Mom cried for most of the wedding, but you have to understand she wasn't sad that you were getting married, she was emotional because the little boy she raised from day 1 has grown into a man that won't need her as much anymore now that he has a new number one woman.You have always been her baby boy and lately, you have been your own person. She is letting you move on, but she will always need you, always.And soon enough you will have your own family and will understand more about the emotional rollercoaster you face with your kids. But for now, just know that we love you and will always support you, but a part of us feels like we lost our little boy.Your wedding day was perfect in every way, and I'm honestly so sad it's over. It was a fun, love-filled, celebration of a day that we will never get back. The pictures will remind us, but those feelings will never be repeated. That place will never be filled with all of those exact people again. And that's beautiful and and heartbreaking all at the same time.A wedding is one of those things that only happens one and it's quick and then over, but then you get to start your forever. A new forever. A new life. New memories. New traditions.But you still always get to be a part of our memories and our lives and our traditions. And now you get to bring your soulmate into all of those things and you get to join her family's as well. That's why marriage is special. It starts something new, but it also joins the past of two people and joins two families.Marriage is fun and exciting and adventurous, but it's hard, so hold steady and don't let go. Seek God and His plan and His instructions on a marriage - that will get you through the hard times. And then thank Him when things are better than ever. Love your bride like He loves His bride, the church. Serve your bride, and serve His bride with your bride - it's a recipe for success, I promise - His word confirms that.Every relationship takes work, but there's always that one person that will never leave, and now that's your wife. You will always have a teammate, a number one fan, and a partner. And that makes my heart burst for you.And guess what? I'm never leaving either! I'll always be on your team and I'll always cheer you on, no matter where life takes you. And I'm excited for our lives to go on and our families to grow and make even more memories.Most importantly, I am so proud of the man you have become and continue to become and I'll always be watching from the sidelines.Thank for for being my brother, but more importantly, thank you for being one of the best friends I could ask for, and thank you for always believing in the best part of me.Here's to a beautiful life with your bride.I love you forever Buddy.Love,Sissy